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Comedy, haha The System

The Trading Places solution to the credit crunch

Wherein you buy low and sell high

Put on your federal government hat. Get the remaining TARP funds out from under the mattress.

  1. Note bank share prices
  2. Start buying shares in banks
  3. Announce you are going to buy every bank in the country
  4. Let the price go up a bit, but keep buying shares
  5. When the old guys get nervous, start selling
  6. Keep selling until prices drop below the noted price
  7. Put the TARP funds back under the mattress
  8. Use the profits to prop-up the already propped-up banks
  9. Insist they actually lend the money this time

At your discretion, send the SEC on an executive retreat and accidentally disable Blackberry email servers.