The loungification of luxury cars

High-end luxury cars are starting to resemble first-class airport lounges and it’s bothering me.

The Porsche Panamera has a dang tray table. Just about every German luxury car has the option to put an LCD screen on the back of the front seats, for entertainment. Who puts $100k+ down on a car so that someone else can drive you around? The seats recline, have tablets to control their massage and scent-control functions. Of course they’re heated and ventilated.

I’m fine with cars as things that merely get you from point A to point B, and I’m fine with rich people buying extravagant cars, but I’m not okay with this airport lounge stuff. No one likes airports! They’re miserable! Stop designing things to resemble airports!


If I could imagineer Tomorrowland for a moment

A little bit of fan reflection on Transportation in Tomorrowland and how to revitalize it:

When you visit Disneyland in California, how do you feel when you walk down Main Street, U.S.A. and turn right to enter Tomorrowland? I mostly feel a combination sadness and  frustration when I walk through Tomorrowland–primarily due to the misplaced and pathway– clogging Astro Orbiter and the vacant, rotting PeopleMover track. And while fantasy space travel is well represented in Tomorrowland (Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters, Star Tours, and Space  Mountain), any semblance of tangible ways of pondering, dreaming about, and honoring humankind's achievements and the wonders of the future are long gone. It's as if Disneyland, like seemingly so much of the world, gave up on an optimistic view of the future, too.

Personally, I’d copy/paste the Magic Kingdom People Mover over to Disneyland, keep the monorail as-is, bring back the motor boat cruise as some kind of “see the world from a personal-sized yacht” thing, and reimagine Autopia as pure-electric autonymous cars that are integrated with pedestrian, bicycle, and commercial traffic in a way that is less car-centric as our current world. The five second pitch: the future of transportation is global and interconnected.


👍 Master of None Season 2

Just finished watching Master of None, season 2. What a great show. It’s hilarious without being campy, poignant without being a downer. Aziz Ansari is very good at this. Also, now I just want to listen to old Italian music and eat food.


If I were a producer: DJ Khaled

Actually, I probably wouldn’t change much. But I have questions about this marketing photo:

[caption id=“attachment_4434” align=“aligncenter” width=“487”]DJ Khaled posing with a baby human and a baby lion People, do not pose with apex predators. And especially, don’t keep them as domestic pets. I’m looking at you, oil billionaires.[/caption]

  1. Just, no. Do not pose with apex predators, even the little ones. Not okay, Mr. Khaled. I know this isn't a question?
  2. Why doesn't said apex predator kitty get a matching robe?
  3. Are you, Mr. DJ Khaled, just a catchphrase soundboard? Have you, at any time, been a soundboard? Is this like a Blue Man Group thing where there are multiple, anonymous DJ Khaleds?

Thank you for your time, DJ Khaled. Grateful is actually pretty good pop music.


If I were a producer: Muse

I have feelings about Muse, but let’s talk about this particular song I’m listening to right now: “Big Freeze” off The 2nd Law. In general, I would overgeneralize Muse’s music as “future-prog”. But this song has a) the typical fuzz bass Muse uses, b) nearly chicken grease guitar chords, and c) a distinct U2 vibe. I’m not sure these things all go together. If’d been the producer on this track, I’d have tried to convince them that chicken grease chords are cool as heck, but they don’t belong on any of Muse’s album tracks.


I welcome our future computer assistants...

…but they’re going to have to deal with the fact that my wife and I commonly have exchanges like this:

Me: can you hand me the thingy from the thing?

Courtney: this one?

Me: which one?

Courtney: the one I’m pointing at

Me: I’m not looking at you

Courtney: this one

Me: the thingy!

Good luck, machine learners!


What I talk about when I talk about cars

Human design: what went into deciding how a human-facing thing is made? How did they decide to put the infotainment screen there? Why are BMW dashboard lights orange-ish? Who designs gauges and do they know what they’re doing? What the hell is going on with Mercedes dashes? When will we stop using gearshifts? When will the scourge of the PRNDL knob leave us?

Mechanical design: i.e. why is this car the way it is from an engineering point-of-view? Why is the rear-engine 911 unique, special, and kinda dumb? What makes the BMW M1 a weird BMW and yet perhaps the most special? Why do Ferrari engines catch fire so frequently? Do BMW/Audi/Mercedes design their cars as sedans, coupes, or hatchbacks first?

History: What puts some brands, e.g. Ferrari and Porsche over the others? Is Audi interesting? What is the gestalt of Honda or Toyota? How did the Viper come to have a tractor engine and a Lamborghini body? How does a BMW M car become “the next coming of BMW Jesus?”

Emotion: What makes people think a car is special? What kind of person owns a Koenigsegg or Pagani? Why own a Lamborghini? Is it practical to drive a Ferrari touring car? When does an Acura TL make sense for someone who enjoys cars? What will enthusiast cars look like once electric cars are the norm; will we finally enter a world of boring aerolumps?

…amongst other things. So many questions, so many subjective answers. That’s what makes it fun!


Jeremy Johnson, It’s time to get a real watch, and an Apple Watch doesn’t count:

...watches are one of the key pieces of jewelry I can sport, and while many have no clue what’s on my wrist, those that do… well do. And they are investments. Usually good purchases will not only last forever (with a little love and care), but go up or retain most of their value over time.

When pal Marcos started talking to me about watches, I realized they checked all the boxes cars do, but at a fraction of the price. If cars check your boxes, look into watches. Jeremy’s intro will get you started without breaking the bank.


A little PeopleMover 💌

I love the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover. It’s what a transportation system should be.

[caption id=“attachment_4190” align=“alignnone” width=“500”]People Mover Disney World People Mover entrance, overlooking Main Street and the Cinderalla Castle, overlooking Tomorrowland[/caption]

Outside but covered. Elevated so pedestrians can pass below it. Passing in and out of nearby structures. Couch-like.

[caption id=“attachment_4191” align=“alignnone” width=“500”]People Mover Disney World The People Mover over Test Track and Space Mountain[/caption]

Futuristic but achievable. Doesn’t isolate people from each other. You’re one of my favorites, People Mover.


What is the future of loving cars?

To me, a great car is equal part shape, technology, sound, and history. It seems like the future of cars is all technology at the expertise of all other factors. What will it mean to love cars over the next ten years?

A well shaped car is defined by function. A long hood accommodates an engine running the length of the car and not between the wheels. Aerodynamic surfaces, not too many please, keep the car pressed to the road. The shape of the car is further of a function of air inlets to cool all the moving parts. Once all that is done, you can think of the form, getting just the right balance of smooth curves and straight lines.

Future cars are likely to move toward aerolumps. Drag is always the enemy of cars, doubly so for anything seeking efficiency. But the form needed to accommodate moving parts (read: combutions engines and their support infrastructure) will go away. You’re left with just a bubble holding the passengers. Not inspiring.

The sound of future cars is the sound of air running over the car and tires meeting the road. You may hear the occassional whine of an electric motor, perhaps an artifical soundtrack inspired by old combustion engines. No more growls, burps, and high-rev screams.

When all this sorts out, some companies will have a more interesting product due to their use of technology. A lot of companies will have a more boring but practical product. We will surely say, “they don’t make them like they used to” because literally, of course, they won’t.

But what will we find to love about how cars are built and function? Will that fade as a historical note while we revel in the agency a personal car brings without some of the external costs of highways, parking lots, and petrofuels?


Levels of musical genius

I often think about what kind of unique musical talent some performer I enjoy possesses. A few examples:

  • J-Dilla was at the center of many groups doing amazing things creating an exciting moment in time, but at the same time was a master composer himself
  • Prince or Quincy Jones were often running multiple performers and groups, serving as sort of the well from which their respective musical ideas came from
  • Tom Petty isn't particularly gifted technically and doesn't write ground-breaking songs but is very, very good at working within a specific form and genre, one of the best in that space
  • Jimmy Page is not musically the best or most innovative, but very adept at the style he created for himself, is technically a good guitarist
  • Pete Townsend holds a group together, is the glue that leads a group of virtuosos, somehow the master creator and craftsperson who runs the group with a solid hand without making it all about him
  • Brian Wilson plays a whole ensemble, a studio as an instrument, micromanaging every detail to produce a sublime musical whole; Bruce Springsteen is close to this
  • Bob Dylan or Leonard Cohen are excellent wordsmiths who get great results when the music around them is also pretty good
  • Annie Clark is a guitar-shred-meister who runs with the avant-alt mantle set forth by The Talking Heads
  • Merrill Garbus builds amazing lo-fi layered music of incredible stylistic range that sounds right at home on the festival circuit

The connection amongst these individuals is more than playing their instruments or writing their songs. They’re working a level above that, whether it’s Tom Petty and Jimmy Page making fine-tuned rock or J-Dilla, Prince, and Merrill Garbus micromanaging a subgenre into existence. I’m a little envious of that level of musical acumen.


Four parks, one day

In January, Courtney and I went to Disney World for her birthday. We bought an annual pass last year, so we’ve literally been a few times over the past year. This time ‘round, Courney wanted to visit all four parks in one day. Our Official Rules were we had to ride two rides (or see a show and do a ride), drink a boozy drink, and eat a dessert in each park. We made it!

We had a few other days to enjoy the park at a more leisurely pace. We did a Safari tour at the Animal Kingdom resort, which afforded opportunities for giraffe selfies. I got to take lots of pictures and enjoy Epcot and Tomorrowland, my favorites. Along the way, we ate a bunch of ice cream and sang along with “Let It Go” nearly every day.

As ever, a magical time.

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Stevie Wonder, for our times of need

Tim Carmody writing for Kottke.org, Stevie Wonder and the radical politics of love:

Songs in the Key of Life tries to reconcile the reality of the post-Nixon era — the pain that even though the enemy is gone, the work is not done and the world has not been transformed — with an inclusive hope that it one day will be, and that faith, hope, and love are still possible.

It’s what makes the album such a magnificent achievement. But I’m not there. I don’t know when I will be. So for now I’m keeping Songs In the Key of Life on the shelf. An unopened bottle of champagne for a day I may never see. But I’d like to.

On three of Stevie Wonder's best albums, his political writing, and how he bridges saying something and making a good song.

I cannot wait to listen to Songs in the Key of Life again.


How Disney pulls me in

Dave Rupert, Disneyland and the Character Machine:

In October my family took a trip to Disneyland. I couldn’t help but be infected by the magic of Disneyland that allows you to feel young at heart and compells you to wear mouse ears on your head. Walking mile after mile through the park it’s very clear this magic has been painstakingly created and preserved by paying the utmost attention to detail.

There’s magic in paying attention to detail, it’s the slight of hand that helps seamlessly preserve the illusion. At Disney, not only is the illusion preserved, you’re encouraged to take part through cosplay and interacting with your favorite characters. This makes you not just an observer, but also a participant in the ritual.

The level of detail is amazing, completely intentional, and interconnected. You can’t see Tomorrowland from Fantasyland because that would take you out of the moment. You can ask Ana from Frozen about her favorite chocolate because she loves chocolate in the movie.

More than a theme park, Disneyland and Disney World are movie-like experiences you can walk around in, immersed in the joy and excitement of the setting and story.


I love overproduced music

It seems like some folks don’t like music with a lot of studio work. Overproduced, they call it. Maybe this is a relic of the days when producers weren’t a creative force on par with the actual performers and artists.

I don’t know, because I love overproduced music. Phil Spector, “Wall of Sound”? Bring it. Large band efforts like “Sir Duke”, “You’re not from Texas”, or “Good Vibrations”? Love it. Super-filtered drum sound? Gotta have it.

It probably has everything to do with, at one point, wanting to pursue a career as a double bassist in symphony orchestras. The pieces I loved the most were the big Romantic tone poems and symphonies with a chorus. Hundreds of people, dozens of unique parks, all playing at the same time, often loudly. It’s the essence of overproduced.


Here’s a curious thing. When I hear “Wouldn’t it be nice?” in my head, it’s much bigger and Wagnerian than it is on Pet Sounds. The pedal tone is bigger and more prominent, the first note after the guitar intro is massive. Maybe I’m just projecting my interpretation onto the song.

Contrast to “Good Vibrations”. There’s always more going on than I remember. Vocal parts, instruments. Sooooo good.

Outside of Brian Wilson, I’ve noticed Jeff Lynne is amongst “the overproducers”. Especially, apparently, how he thins out drum sounds. Love it. Have I ever told you how much I dislike the sound of an raw snare drum?


Fascinating mechanical stories

I already wrote about cars as appliances or objects, but I found this earlier germ of the idea in my drafts:

There’s an in-betweenish bracket where prestige, social signaling, or bells and whistles count a bit more. The Prius and Tesla are social signals. Some folks get a Lexus, Acura, Infiniti, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, etc. for the prestige more than the bells and whistles.

The weird thing about e.g. BMW, Porsche, or Ferrari is how much enthusiasts know about them. The history, the construction, the internal model numbers, the stories. I suspect you can tell a prestige BMW owner from an enthusiast BMW owner if they can tell you the internal model number of their car.

My first thought, when I came across this, was this is a pretty good bit of projection and rationalization on my part ;) But it’s not hard to look into the fandom of any of those ostensibly-prestige brands like BMW or Porsche and find communities that refer to BMWs not as 3- or 5-series but as E90s or E34s (mine is an F30) and Porsches as 986 or 996 instead of the 911 marketing number. So I’m at least a little right about this!

I will never experience driving the majority of cars out there. I may never know how an old BMW compares to a newer one or properly hear an old Ferrari V-12. I can partake of the enthusiasm about their history, engineering, and idiosyncrasies. That’s the big attraction for me: the stories.


The lesser known vapors and waves

There’s a thing going on in music with all the vapors and chills and waves. I’m not entirely sure what it is, yet. Even after reading this excellent survey of the various vaporwave subgenres, I’m still not sure what it is. But it’s very synth-y, a little sample-y, and very much what you’d expect to hear in a hip, contemporary hotel lobby.


Van Halen ranked, atypically

Best songs that David Lee Roth talks over:

  • "Hot for Teacher"
  • "Panama"
  • "Everybody Wants Some"

Coincidentally, best use of Van Halen songs in film:

  • "Hot for Teacher" in the strip club scene of Varsity Blues
  • "Panama" in the joyriding/donuts scene of Superbad
  • "Everybody Wants Some" in the Hummer scene of Zombieland

Bon Iver discovers the Option key on his Mac

[caption id=“attachment_3815” align=“alignnone” width=“213”]Someone just discovered all the weird glyphs you can make if you hold the option key and type random stuff! Someone just discovered all the weird glyphs you can make if you hold the option key and type random stuff![/caption]

22, A Million, quick thoughts:

  • first track has a very Tune-Yards drums thing going
  • second track has a very 808s & Heartbreak thing
  • a few tracks in: each track is like Bon Iver doing someone else’s track from the past ten years, but with emo autotune
  • I like the background piano/horn tracks on “29 #Strafford APTS”
  • feels like the track sequencing demonstrates thinking through emotional/tempo pacing 👍
  • I really like the use of pseudo-sax harmony e.g. “____45_____”; slightly Ornette Coleman-esque
  • I like how a lot of the individual parts don’t fit together exactly right, but it still works

So what genre is this album? Neo-electro-ambient-folk-jam? Either way, it works!


tumblr_oe7br9uhal1roi5yvo1_1280

My first car. Except not right-hand drive. 1989 Honda Accord. And it was not nearly so clean, or grey. But you could fit a double bass in the front seat! Pretty practical for my high school needs.