Categories
Uncategorized

Music ranked: the string section

Best albums, singles of the years. Who is better, the Beatles or the Rolling Stones. Top 100 smooth jazz to fall asleep to. We love to put music into boxes and then rank the items in those boxes. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: the string section of the orchestra, as rated by the string section.

There’s a bit of a tie for first place. The violins and cellos feel equally strongly that they are the best. The cellos and basses are equal mixes of ambivalence to these status games and envy that they are not in the violin or cello sections.

Here’s a sampling of the sentiment data our polling gathered, aggregated by section.

Violins: I’m better than everyone else or I’m better than that violinist over there.

Violas: I wish I played cello. Or, that I’d gone to that writing workshop.

Cellos: I am underrated, more composers should write good solo work for cello. I am going to use every minute of this melody to shine. I am overflowing with emotion, which you will hear through my extremely wide vibrato.

Basses: I wish I played cello. Or jazz. Or that this instrument was as loud as the brass section. Or that I was out at the loading dock, smoking.

By Adam Keys

Telling a joke. Typing.