Empathy Required

Nearly fourteen years ago, I graduated college and found my first full-time, non-apprentice-y job writing code. When I wrote code, these were the sorts of things I worried about:

  • Where is the code I should change?
  • Is this the right change?
  • What are the database tables I need to manipulate?
  • Who should I talk to before I put this code in production?

Today, I know a lot more things. I did some things right and a lot of things wrong. Now when I write code, these are the sorts of things I worry about:

  • Am I backing myself into a corner by writing this?
  • Why was the code I’m looking at written this way and what strategy should I use to change it?
  • Will this code I just wrote be easy to understand and modify the next time I see it? When a teammate sees it?
  • Should I try to improve this code’s design or performance more, or ship it?

Half of those concerns are about empathy. They’re only a sampling of all the things I’ve learned I should care about as I write code, but I think the ratio holds up. As I get better and better at programming, as my career proceeds, I need more empathy towards my future self and my teammates.

Further, that empathy needs to extend towards those who are less experienced or haven’t learned the precise things I’ve learned. What works for me, the solutions that are obvious to me, the problems to steer clear of, none of that is in someone else’s head. I can’t give them a book, wait three weeks, and expect them to share my strengths and wisdoms.

That means, when I advise those who listen or steer a team that allows me to steer it, I have to make two camps happy. On one hand, I have to make a decision that is true to what I think is important and prudent. On the other hand, I have to lay out guidelines that lead the listener or teammate towards what I think is important or prudent without micromanagement, strict rules, and other forms of negative reinforcement.

It’s so easy, for me, to just hope that everyone is like me and work under that assumption. But it’s much better, and highly worthwhile, to figure out how to help friends and teammates to level up on their own. It requires a whole lot of empathy, and the discipline to use it instead of impatience. Worth it.

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